How to Get Married in Islam? A Step-by-Step Guide
11 min read
What exactly is nikah?
Muslim wedding contract signed in front of a number of witnesses by the couple is known as Nikah
The bride and groom enter into a serious and sacred social contract known as nikah. This treaty is a strong covenant (Quran 4:21 expresses it as “mithaqun Ghalithun”). In Islam, the marriage contract is not a sacrament. It’s revocable, which means you can get out of it at any time!
Nikah is more than just a two-person agreement. It has societal and family ramifications. Marriage is influenced by societal customs and rules. As a result, no nikah can be performed behind closed doors.
Marriages between Muslims and non-Muslims are not two unique notions. Civil marriages take place under the watchful eye of civil authorities. Similarly, Islamic marriages require supervision, with the bride’s father being the chief supervisor. If the father and other male relatives refuse to supervise or oppose to a marriage that does not have an Islamic foundation, the supervisor takes on the role of civil or other lawful authority.
The additional criterion of “Mahar” in Islamic marriage must be supervised while being assessed and written down.
Under the following criteria, an Islamic marriage (nikah) can be performed:
1- To marriage, both parties must be free of impediments and have legal ability.
2- During the proposal and acceptance, both sides, or their guardians or representatives, must be present at the same moment.
3- The marriage prohibitions in An-Nisa 23,24 and An-Noor 3, which contain the prohibitions on blood and milk relatives, must be followed.
4- There must be no further requirements imposed by either party that would prohibit the nikah from taking place.
5- Both the bride and groom must have achieved adulthood (this can happen at the same time or after puberty).
6- Both the bride and the groom must be chaste, according to An-Noor 24:3,5; Al-Maidah 5:5; and An-Nisa 4:24.
From an Islamic perspective, a nikah is valid if the following conditions are met:
1- Supervision and testimony: For more information, see the section below.
2- Consensual marriage agreement: No girl or boy, woman or man, can be married against her or his will. If one of the parties is against the agreement, the marriage is void. As a result, parents are forbidden from forcing their children to marry someone they do not want because such a relationship is haram, even if the activities for it are performed.
3- Announcement: Marriages, particularly the nikah ceremony, are performed to announce the marriage. As a result, everyone must be informed about nikah.
4- More: The groom gives the bride her legal share of the bride. The right of Mehr arises as a natural byproduct of the nikah for the bride and is not a necessity for the nikah to be legal.
Allah’s Messenger declares:
“Without a supervisor (Wali) and two trustworthy witnesses, there is no marriage.” A marriage that does not include these is null and void. If they can’t agree, the supervisor is the authorised officials.” (Abu Dawood, Nikah/Marriage, 20; Tirmidhi, Nikah/Marriage, 14; Ibn Majah, Nikah/Marriage, 15; Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, Musnad, 6/66; Abu Dawood, Nikah/Marriage, 20; Tirmidhi, Nikah/Marriage, 14; Ibn Majah, Nikah/Marriage, 15; Ahmad
The woman’s father, grandfather, son, brother, uncle, and so on should all be supervisors. The authorised official becomes the supervisor if they are not located or refuse to perform their duties. The supervisor’s job is to check on the groom-to-be to see if he meets the requirements listed above. Because men have more access to men-exclusive situations than women, a boy or man’s unchastity can be seen by another guy more easily than a woman’s. Another example is that an older guy can more quickly see a boy’s maturity and whether or not he can support a family. Only if the groom-to-be fails to meet the conditions laid out in the Qur’an can the supervisor oppose to the marriage. Any other opposition to the marriage is regarded as unfounded. If the supervisor persists in making a baseless objection, he forfeits his supervisory authority. As a result, the authorities in control take on the role of supervisor.
Today, no government in the world allows unsupervised weddings. Municipal officials, churches, and synagogues are examples of authorised marriage supervisors. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did not require walee for men and only required walee for women, which facilitates marriage, defends women’s rights, and allows for the establishment of happy families.
•Choose a date for the Nikah
First and foremost, after deciding to marry, the pair must talk with one other’s families and choose a date! Before starting work, deciding on a budget, and organising all that is required, both parties should express their wishes and expectations. Do you want the nikah to be performed at your home or at the masjid? Will a separate civil ceremony be required? Who are you going to invite? Where will the Walima be held? All of this, and more, takes careful thought.
•The Islamic Marriage Ceremony (Al-Nikah)
Let’s start with the fundamentals. The nikah is a simple ceremony in which a man and woman profess their marriage vows to one other. It’s a “contract” that both parties must agree to, and it’s regarded a religious rite (ibadah).
The Al-Ijab wal-Qubul (offer and acceptance) is the most basic form of the ceremony, in which the Wali (woman’s guardian in marriage) presents the bride to the husband, who subsequently accepts.
One matrimonial partner announces “ijab” ready consent to marry, while the other expresses “qubul” acceptance of responsibility for the marriage ceremony’s assembly.
(For example, the Wali can say, “I give you my daughter/the girl in my care in marriage in line with the Islamic Shari’ah in the presence of the witnesses here with the agreed-upon dowry.”) And Allah is the most reliable witness.”)
“I accept marrying your daughter/under your guard changing her name to myself in accordance with the Islamic Shari’ah and in the presence of the witnesses here with the dowry agreed upon,” the soon-to-be husband responds. And Allah is the most reliable witness.”
The ceremony is now finished! Yes, it’ll be over in a matter of minutes!
•The Nikah requirements
The following are the primary requirements:
1) The bride and groom’s mutual (permission) agreement (Ijab-O-Qubul)
2) Two adult and sane witnesses, 2 males or 1 male and 2 females (Ash-Shuhud).
3) Mahar (marriage gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or later (muakhkhar), or a mixture of both (muakhkhar).
Additional Requirements:
1) The bride’s legal guardian Wali or his agent, wakeel
2) The bride and groom sign a written marriage contract (“Aqd-Nikah”), which is witnessed by two adult and sane witnesses.
3) The Imam or a Qadi (State-appointed Muslim judge) or Ma’zoon (a responsible person officiating the marriage ceremony). (However, because Islam does not encourage priesthood, any trustworthy practising Muslim can perform the nikah ceremony.)
4) To solemnise or bless the marriage, the Khutba-tun-Nikah (sermon) is delivered.
The bride and groom, as well as their two witnesses, write the contract and sign it. The public announcement of this written marriage contract (“Aqd-Nikah”) follows.
The civil obligations of the marriage are fulfilled when the marriage contract documents are documented with the masjid and registered with the local government. Without it, the marriage would not be recognised by the law of the nation in which you live, and the spouse’s legal rights, such as inheritance, would be invalid.
Your nikah text is entirely up to you.
It might be a simple sentence with only the most important details, or it can be much more.
It can simply include the dates, agreed-upon mahr (dowry), full names of witnesses, and the wali (if the bride has one).
(It’s worth noting that the pair does not have to be in the same room for the Nikah, as long as the Wali and Witnesses are present and have witnessed everything, and the bride has given her agreement and permission.)
•Proclamation of the Nikah
Islam, on the other hand, urges its adherents to announce their marriages and to rejoice in this magnificent union between a man and a woman. The nikah is a social event as well. “Declare this marriage, have it in the masjid, and beat the drums,” the Prophet ordered.
Despite the fact that it is a religious event, the nikah does not have to take place in a mosque. It’s a matter of personal preference. You will, however, need to arrange a separate civil ceremony. At the nikah, men and women may sit separately. They could be in a different room or separated by a barrier. Again, this is a personal choice.
•Sermon
The wedding sermon (Khutbah-tun-Nikah) is a manner of honouring the marriage and begins with Allah’s praise. The Muslim confession of faith is then said, “There is none worthy of worship except Allah, and Muhammad is His servant and messenger.”
The sermon’s primary body consists of three verses from the Holy Qur’an and one Hadith:
‘Yaa ayyuha’n-naas uttaqu rabbakum alladhi khalaqakum min nafsin waahidatin wa khalaqa minhaa zawjahaa wa baththa minhumaa rijaalan katheeran wa nisaa’an wa’ttaqu-Llaah alladhi tasa
(O mankind, fear Allaah, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from them both He created many men and women, and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship) Surely, Allaah is Ever an All-Watcher over you.) [al-Nisaa’ 4:1]
‘Yaa ayyuha’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha haqqa tuqaatihi wa laa tamootunna illaa wa antum muslimoon’Llaaha haqqa tuqaatihi wa laa tamootunna illaa wa antum muslimo Fear Allaah as He deserves to be feared, and die only in the state of Islam (as Muslims) with perfect submission to Allaah.)[Al ‘Imraan 3:102]
‘O you who believe!’ Yaa ayyahu’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha wa qooloo qawlan sadeedan Keep your obligation to Allaah and fear Him, and proclaim the truth at all times.’
[33:70] [al-Ahzaab].”
“The Prophet taught us Khutbat al-Haajah: Al-hamdu,” stated ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him), according to Al-Nisaa’i. Lillaahi nasta’eenahu wa nastaghfiruhu, wa na’oodhu billaahi min shuroori anfusinaa wa sayi’aati a’maalinaa, wa na’oodhu billaahi min shuroori anfusinaa wa sayi’aati a’maalinaa. Man yahdih Illaahu falaa mudilla lahu, man yudlil falaa haadiya lahu, man yahdih Illaahu falaa mudilla lahu, man yahdih Illaahu falaa mudilla lahu, man yahd (Praise be to Allah, we ask His help and forgiveness.) Wa ashhadu a laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhu wa rasooluhu We seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our own souls and the consequences of our wrong conduct. No one can guide those whom Allah leads astray, and no one can guide those whom Allah leaves astray. I attest to the fact that there is no deity but Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger).
(Sunan al-Nisaa’i: Kitaab al-Jumu’ah, Baab kayfiyyah al-khutbah; Sunan al-Nisaa’i: Kitaab al-Jumu’ah, Baab kayfiyyah al-khutbah.)
With Du’aa for the bride and groom, their families, the local Muslim community, and the Muslim community as a whole, the ceremony comes to a finish (ummah).
•Mahar
The Qur’an states that mahr must be included in the marriage contract. The groom offers mahr to his wife as a sign of his devotion to her and his willingness to provide for her. It can be in the form of money, property, or personal belongings. There is no specific amount, however moderation is advised, and the present is decided upon by the bride and husband.
“And give the women their dowries as a free gift, but receive it with joy and good pleasure if they are pleased to offer you any of it.” [4:4 in the Qur’an]
The groom can pay the mahr before or after the wedding, or at a later date agreed upon with his bride. It is even possible to postpone the mahr indefinitely. It will, however, become due immediately in the event of divorce or death. A contract is signed by the bride, groom, and witnesses, and it specifies the amount and method of payment. The Aqd-Nikah is then declared to all those who attend the nikah.
Traditionally, mahr reflected the bride’s family’s social rank. However, nowadays, donating mahr is primarily viewed as a symbolic act. No one wants to start their married life in debt, and Islam does not want to discourage men from marrying simply because they cannot afford a large dowry.
•Walima: the wedding feast
After the nikah, the groom customarily hosts a wedding banquet (Walima). The feast may take place immediately after the nikah, the next day, the next week, or at a later date, but the objective is for family and friends to participate in the groom’s happiness on the occasion of his marriage and to give gratitude to Allah.
“He who declines to accept an invitation to a marriage feast really disobeys Allah and His Prophet,” the Prophet Muhammad said, encouraging Muslims to accept wedding invites. [Ahmad & Abu Dawood] [Ahmad & Abu Dawood] [Ahmad & Abu
The Walima should not be exorbitantly priced. It’s important to remember that Islam stresses moderation. No one should begin their married life in debt, nor should they burden their families with debt as a result of an excessive Walima. It’s a time to celebrate the couples’ pleasure, and competing with what you would have had at a friend’s or relative’s Walima will almost certainly lead to higher prices and take your attention away from the occasion.
Save money for significant purchases such as a down payment on a home, the hajj, or your honeymoon. You’ll never be able to please everyone, no matter what you do, so keep things basic and affordable.
“Says the Prophet (saw):
“The nikah (marriage) with the fewest expenses is the most blessed.”
(From al-Shu’ab Bayhaqi’s al-Iman and Mishkat al-Masabih)
“The worst food is that served at a wedding banquet (walima), to which only the wealthy are invited and the poor are not.” And anyone refuses an invitation (to a feast) is disobedient to Allah and His Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace).”
“The best wedding is that upon which the least difficulty and expense is expended,” the Prophet remarked. [Mishkat]
The Walima provides an occasion for family members and friends to congratulate the happy couple: the bride is celebrated by the women in her life, as well as her relatives and friends; the groom is congratulated by the males. Gifts are also given to the newlyweds. Gifts provided voluntarily are thought to promote interpersonal ties. As a result, it’s critical to keep gifts within budget. Most people nowadays will say “No boxed gifts,” and will instead bring cash, gift cards, or other similar items. It’s less stressful for everyone, and you won’t waste or have to deal with unwanted gifts.
“Exchange gifts, enhance your love for one another,” the Prophet stated. [At-Tirmizi]
•Ancient customs
Remember that in some nations, these are customs and cultural requirements. In Islam, it is not a requirement. After the couple has accepted each other for marriage, a mangni (engagement ceremony) may be held. It allows the two families to gather together and, if desired, the couple to exchange rings. The groom’s family is generally responsible for the bride’s attire.
The exchange of rings between the bride and groom is not a religious necessity, but it has become a tradition. Gold jewellery is solely suitable for women, whereas silver rings are acceptable for both men and women.
•The Night of the Wedding
Most newlyweds experience wedding day anxieties as they anticipate their wedding night, but try not to let any fears ruin your beautiful day. You can lessen your feelings of uncertainty if you know what to expect on this important night.
The Prophet Muhammad has revealed strategies for us to have a fulfilling and enjoyable wedding night. The groom is encouraged to place his hands on his wife’s head and pray for her, according to the Sunnah.
“O Allah, I ask You for her goodness and the goodness of the inborn dispositions that You have given her, and I seek Your protection from her evil and the evil of the inborn dispositions that You have given her,” the Prophet said. [Ibn Majah and Abu Dawud]
Before asking Allah for what they want for themselves, the groom should lead his wife in two raka’at (units of prayer). “O Allah, bless my wife for me, and bless me for her,” the Prophet recommended. “O Allah, bring us closer together in good, and if You must separate us, do so in good.” [Abu Shaybah]
Reference: https://Sunnah.com, https://Quran.com, https://justbusydreaming.com/
MashaAlllah