How to build good habits and remove bad ones?
5 min read
Often, our minds know what is beneficial for us, but our bodies respond in a different way. A habit is just an activity that we do without much thinking, such as brushing our teeth or going to the gym. They are already in sync with our body, so we carry them out without thinking about them.
It’s critical to understand that poor habits are a product of our nafs (the lower part of our nature), which is driven by a need for immediate fulfilment. Eating unhealthily is one option, but smoking is a more severe one. Having a poor character characteristic, such as gossiping about others behind their backs, might also be an indication of this.
It’s normal to have a few poor habits. Even when we know what we’re doing is wrong, our nafs still desires the pleasure of it. An instantaneous pleasure, as opposed to an endless one, is what it means to seek the delights of Paradise.
A Guide to Developing Healthy Routines and Discontinuing Negative Ones
According to one of our Prophet s.a.w hadiths
وَالْمُجَاهِدُ مَنْ جَاهَدَ نَفْسَهُ فِي طَاعَةِ اللَّهِ
In order to be a mujahid (one who seeks to obey Allah), one must struggle with one’s own self-discipline.
(Sunan At-Tirmizi)
Obeying Allah s.w.t. is striving to improve oneself and gain His favour.
وَلَا تُلْقُوا بِأَيْدِيكُمْ إِلَى التَّهْلُكَةِ ۛ وَأَحْسِنُوا ۛ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
“Also, do not let your (own) hands lead you to ruin” (by refraining). As well as doing good deeds, Allah is pleased with those who do good.
Al-Baqarah, 2:195
As Muslims, we must strive to cultivate healthy habits and break negative ones in order to live a better life. Here are a few pointers to get you going:
Be realistic in your expectations.
When we first begin a new endeavour, we often have lofty objectives in mind and a strong desire to see things differently. However, barriers and diversions may knock us off course, and these setbacks may have a significant impact on our progress. The temptation to give up may get greater despite our best efforts at this stage. We’re back to square one before we realise it.
While having lofty ambitions is admirable, it is always preferable to go forward with little, manageable measures to achieve those objectives. Building healthy habits is an important part of Islam’s focus on moderation. The Prophet s.a.w. stated in a hadith:
صُمْ وَأَفْطِرْ، وَقُمْ وَنَمْ، فَإِنَّ لِجَسَدِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا
“…Stand up for prayer at night and also sleep at night; observe the (voluntary) fast occasionally and abandon them (the fast) other times. “Your body has a right to be in charge of you.”
(Sahih Al-Bukhari)
I’d rather make minor adjustments to the bad behaviour to make it more practical and realistic than try to eradicate it all at once.
For example, if you want to eat healthier, you may start by eating one nutritious meal or reducing one serving of junk food at a time. Alternatively, if you haven’t been giving to charity, consider making a weekly donation of $1.
Once we’ve gotten into the habit of doing something, we might begin to experiment with new things. This is a great help!
KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT FROM ALLAH?
Pay attention to your surroundings.
The only way to make a behaviour or action different is to figure out what causes it in the first place. This is due to the fact that habitual acts don’t need much effort and are done as a matter of habit.
Muraqabah, or Arabic for “watchful” or “present,” refers to being aware of our activities and understanding that Allah is continually watching and caring for us. According to Ibn Qayyim:
دَوَامُ مُلَاحَظَةِ الْمَقْصُودِ أَيْ دَوَامُ حُضُورِ الْقَلْبِ مَعَهُ
Remaining in contact with Allah (God) at all times, “constant awareness of the aim.”
(Madarijus-Salikeen)
You may accomplish this by spotting yourself in the act of engaging in the habit before you do so. If we want to overcome a negative personality characteristic like anger, we should do everything we can to calm ourselves down before letting our tempers flare up. According to the words of the Holy Prophet s.a.w.,
إِذَا غَضِبَ أَحَدُكُمْ وَهُوَ قَائِمٌ فَلْيَجْلِسْ فَإِنْ ذَهَبَ عَنْهُ الْغَضَبُ وَإِلَّا فَلْيَضْطَجِعْ
“If one of you is enraged while standing, let him to sit down; if he is enraged while lying down, allow him to rest.”
As said by the Prophet (Sunan Abi Daud),
Step back and ask yourself, “Why?” Try to figure out why you’re so enraged. Has a need gone unmet or unaddressed? Even though it’s normal to have bad emotions, I feel that how we deal with them is what really important.
Be strategic in your approach.
Now that you’ve figured out what’s causing your negative behaviours, you’ll be able to fix them. Make a strategy, and then have a fallback. A lot of drive and effort is required to make a change, and to do so, we need to be deliberate about it. According to the words of the Holy Prophet s.a.w.,
إِنَّمَا الأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّةِ
“Intention is the driving force behind every action.”
A hole will be left when a problematic habit is gradually eliminated. As a result, we risk reverting to our previous negative behaviours if we don’t devise a replacement strategy. Writing down your objectives, planning incentives for each step you take, and keeping a log of your progress are all examples of being strategic.
In my opinion, you should surround yourself with others who share your interests, seek their counsel, and encourage one other.
Consistency is key.
In the same way that negative habits are formed over time, so too are good habits formed over time. It will take time for anything you’ve decided to accomplish to become a part of your everyday routine. The trick is to stick at it day after day after day after day after day after day.
He was questioned about the actions that Allah s.w.t. deems most important. According to the words of the Holy Prophet s.a.w.,
أَحَبُّ الأَعمَالِ إِلَى اللهِ أَدْومُها وَإِنْ قَلَّ
In the eyes of Allah, “continuous deeds, even though they are little, are more pleasant to Him.”
Al-(Sahih Bukhari’s Al-Bukhari)
That which is the most continuous is called Adwam in this hadith. As a result, choose a tiny yet worthwhile activity, such as saying your prayers on time every day. It will be challenging at first, but if you keep doing it, it will eventually become a habit that you like.
Keep calm and carry on
After putting in a lot of work, we may have a day when we just don’t feel like doing anything. It’s OK to take a step back at times. We are not a failure if we make a few mistakes. We’re all just like you and me. The most important thing is that we recognise when we need a break and go back to work the next day.
Be flexible with your schedule. There are others who disagree with the rule of thumb of 21, 30, 60, or any other number of days. Anxiety and a sense of failure may ensue if you don’t accomplish the objective, and the temptation to quit up may be too strong.
Remember that transformation is a journey, not a destination. According to Allah
إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ
In fact, Allah is pleased with those who are patient.
Al-Baqarah, 2:153
It takes a lot of time and effort to change. It’s hardly a walk in the park, for sure. What’s wrong with us when Allah promises to help those who are patient?
As a general rule, change is a term that is simple to grasp, but incredibly difficult to put into practise. However, it is feasible with the proper intentions, consistent work, and regular Dua to Allah s.w.t..
