What should you do if your parents are against Hijab?
4 min read
Dear sister, you are not alone. You are not first one to deal with this an issue and you are not the last. There are thousands of girls who went through this obstacle. I know how painful it is. As if the whole world is against you. Do not worry. Allah is with you.
As a fellow Muslimah who went through it, I want to give you some useful tips:
Have a clear Intention
Let’s start with the basics.
Why do we wear Hijab? It is because Allah commanded us to wear in Holy Quran. We are not doing it because of our cultures, traditions or trends. Men such as our fathers, husbands or brothers have nothing to with our scarves. It is only between us and Allah.
Hijab is an obligation for Muslim females who reached the age of puberty.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَٰجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَآءِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَٰبِيبِهِنَّ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَن يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59).
We hear the order of Allah, and we obey Him to gain the Pleasure of Almighty.
Remember, your Lord knows your clean intentions and will make it easy for you.
Know that you are doing it for the sake of Allah.
Repent
As humans we all tend to sin and make mistakes. This is something from our nature. We cannot completely escape from. Some of our sins may affect our lives in order to be forgiven the Most Merciful and the Most Kind.
That is why repentance is a key.
وَمَآ أَصَٰبَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُوا۟ عَن كَثِيرٍ
And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much. (Quran 42:30).
Thank Allah for guiding you towards Hijab
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِى لَشَدِيدٌ
And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'” (Quran 14:7).
Be grateful for being granted with Crown by Allah.
Make lots of Dua
Dua is powerful. Never underestimate it. Believe in Allah.
Allah promised to answer our prayers in Holy Quran:
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدْعُونِىٓ أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَسْتَكْبِرُونَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِى سَيَدْخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَ
Your Lord has proclaimed, “Call upon Me, I will respond to you. Surely those who are too proud to worship Me will enter Hell, fully humbled.”
Do not be shy or arrogant to beg Allah. Allah is All-Hearing.
Dua is your weapon.
Ali (radi Allahu anhu) narrated the Prophet ﷺ said : “The Dua is the weapon of the believer, a pillar of the religion and a light for the Heavens and the Earth.”
Wake up for Tahajjud prayer
Tahajjud prayer is like “magic stick” to make our dreams come true. Use it.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Our Lord Almighty descends to the lowest heaven in the last third of every night, saying: Who is calling upon Me that I may answer him? Who is asking from Me that I may give him? Who is seeking My forgiveness that I may forgive him?” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1145, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 758
Be kind to your parents.
Allah brought us to this world through our parents. They are the most important and close people in our lives. Allah says in in Quran:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (Quran 17:23).
Our Creator commands us to be kind towards them address them in terms of honour.
With screaming, manipulation and scandal you will not gain anything. Only waste of time and energy.
Read How Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) honoured women?
Be better version of yourself
Change yourself. Become better version of yourself. If you are student, study harder. If you work, become better employee or employer. Let your parents see that you are serious about your decision.
لَهُۥ مُعَقِّبَٰتٌ مِّنۢ بَيْنِ يَدَيْهِ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِۦ يَحْفَظُونَهُۥ مِنْ أَمْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا۟ مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ ۗ وَإِذَآ أَرَادَ ٱللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ سُوٓءًا فَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُۥ ۚ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِۦ مِن وَالٍ
For him [i.e., each one] are successive [angels]1 before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allāh.2 Indeed, Allāh will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. And when Allāh intends for a people ill,3 there is no repelling it. And there is not for them besides Him any patron (Quran 13:11)
Do not lose hope
Never lose hope. Be optimistic, be nice to people and always supplicate to Allah to make things easier.
Author: Binti Abdaly
